I have to be perfect. My Dad finds that to be an important factor in my personality. I have to be perfect. Skinny, straight A’s, star athlete. Its funny because his ideal kid, was a boy. At least thats what he makes feel like he wanted. I’m not skinny, im not fat but I’m a little chubby. He hates it. I don’t get straight A’s, i get B’s and C’s. Thats not bad, but everytime i bring home that report card he says i can do so much better, like getting straight A’s. I play softball, I’m alright at that, i play Center field. still not good enough. My parents are divorced and, my mother has an alcohol problem. She’ll be normal till she pulls out the vodka. My brother just got out of drug and alcohol rehab, he also wanted to kill himself. He has type 1 Diabeties, i remember when i would here him in the middle of the night having a seizure and all i could do is cry, was so young and i had to experience this, i thought he was going to die. Every seizure he had, i thought he was going to die when my mother leaft me behind to drive him to the emergency room. He hated his disease so he decided to fall under the sickness of alcohol and he let it control him. I vow not to follow my brothers mistake, i will rise above it. Addiction is in the family. figures. my family. I am alone, always will be something that my father says is bad. I want to sing, scream, run. get away. I’m addicted to dreaming for a better life, i wonder if dying will solve problems, but what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger right? i’m not perfect but i’m beautiful. i have scars but people who love me for me will look pass my past. someday i will be okay, no longer alone, not longer scared, no longer sad. no more tears. thank you to the people who read my story, i dont care if you like it but thanks for reading. to the people who feel alone, like myself, just know, youre not. God bless you. you are beautiful.
i want to share, my story.